Sunday, May 31, 2009

Adventurous Alabama

Alabama--where a sheen of sweat looks good on everyone. At least, that's what I try to tell myself as my sheen of sweat seems to be my dominant characteristic these days.

Our first week here, humidity was high, but the wind and rain kept the heat at bay. Now the clouds have disappeared, the cool breezes have gone north for the winter, and the sun is burning pools of sweat in our backs and armpits. Today I almost gave up on Mormon underwear. "Wicking" my foot. The church is true, but they still don't know how to make comfortable, wicking underwear. (pardon me while I check outside for lightning)

While we are here in good ole Montgomery, AL (where the Air Force base is an island of niceness in a sea of tumbly, rickety, deserted businesses), I have vowed to live as inconveniently as possible. The military is trying to accomodate my vow in every way. The first week, they took Mike away on a surprise camping trip. "Welcome to Alabama where you know no one and have no idea where anything is. Good luck this first week with your possessed GPS, a useless laptop, no air conditioning, and a car that has no power locks. And by the way, your husband won't be coming back to your one bedroom apartment until Friday. Have a nice day."

Motherhood awesomeness did not abound that first week. One night I was driving home from buying my children a healthy, well-balanced meal at some scary Taco Bell and I couldn't find the way back. The GPS (which speaks German, thanks Mike.) was telling me all sorts of things about 'rechts abeggen' and Kenzie kept yelling at me to "Please talk to me! Where are we? Why can't we have an ice cream cone?"

Eventually I found Maxwell Air Force Base, but then I couldn't figure out how to get to our apartment. It was awful. I have consumed 1.5 gallons of ice cream in the past two weeks. (Sometimes I share, but mostly I pretend I'm eating an orange.) That was the worst situation of the week, so it wasn't really that bad. Eventually Mike returned from his "camping" (air conditioned tents) and life got better even though ice cream consumption was still up.

That weekend we moved to an air conditioned apartment on the fourth floor with a smaller bed (a full!) and no bathtub, and no oven. And this is where I should start counting my blessings. I like this room better because A. I get the vertigo every time I walk into the kitchen. Mike thinks it has something to do with the building moving everytime the elevator moves. I think it has something to do with all the ice cream I am eating. B. It has a sliding partition that blocks off the one bedroom from the kitchen/desk area. I love being able to shut something to seperate myself from my adorable, always obedient children. Because sometimes they are so obedient I just have to close the door and pinch myself. Hard. C. The bathroom has a counter where I can spread all of my stuff around. D. Did I mention that there is a partition? I don't have to lie silently in the dark, breathing quietly and hopefully while my children do not fall asleep and then yell angrily at them to GO TO SLEEP and then when they finally do, tip toe around hoping they don't wake up. E. There is a partition I can shut at night and during nap time.

So we've had some other adventures too, but I forgot to bring the cable to download pictures and my mom is mailing it to me soon, so I'm waiting for that, but stay tuned for drama! action! romance! Ummm, really how much romance can we have here with all of us sleeping in the same room? So stay tuned for Drama! Action! Driving!

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you are a lovin' Alabama. Just think how happy you will be when you return home. When I got back from Nebraska I really did appreciate Beautiful Downtown Kennewick more. I actually thought that Kennewick was beautiful. Hang in there girl. It will be over soon. GMB

Kathryn-nannygoat said...

Um... sounds fun.?
Kentucky is so humid during the summer. It has really helped me appreciate Utah's dry heat. I HATE feeling sweaty and sticky all of the time.
Sounds like you are definitely living inconveniently Steph. How much longer are you going to be down south?
It's a good thing you can laugh about those inconveniences. It will probably be easier to laugh when you’re back in your comfy home. ;)

Em Russ said...

whew. Glad you have a partition!! :) Enjoy the ice cream!! Maybe all the sweating will balance out the ice cream calories. And, I laughed when you said Mike has your GPS in German. That sounds like the kind of adventure Mike would be up for!!

Alisha said...

I'm glad you have a partition. You just might survive now :)

Rachel Sue said...

I'm cringing for you. I really am. Just keep "pinching" yourself with that partition and maybe things will get better. . .

I am so so sorry. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Right? No? Okay. I'll shut up now. . .

Kristina P. said...

Stephanie, you are a trooper! Hang in there!

Hollie said...

Just think how nice it will be in August in Utah when everyone here is complaining about "humidity" and you can laugh at the one overcast Utah day when Utahns think they are experiencing "humidity." You'll be so much wiser as you put on your moisturizer and lotion. But you'll have no partition.....

Melanie J said...

Too bad you're stranded in Mississippi or Louisiana. That's where the good food is!

Momza said...

My best advice: head for the beach!
Fill up the car with babies, sunscreen, ice, food, and head to the beach! You'll be so glad you did!

kristi lou said...

You're awesome Steph. It totally reminds me of a time Nate took a summer internship in Phoenix. YIKES. Summer in Phoenix. NOt so fun. We did have AC, but the only furniture we had was a card table, an inflatable sofa(but not for long-pop), and a portacrib. Nate & I slept on the floor. It really made us count our blessings. Make the best of it. I know you will. ENJOY!

Hollyween said...

Oh man, Steph! How do you do it?

Yeah. I'm behind on your blog. But I'm all caught up now. From your biking skirt experience (hilarious)and mean Kenzie(Also very funny) to this entry. Alabama? I would die!!!

But seriously, you made my die by one line in this entry:
"I have consumed 1.5 gallons of ice cream in the past two weeks. (Sometimes I share, but mostly I pretend I'm eating an orange.)"
I laughed tears and I'm not kidding.

Here's to surviving Alabama!

And when you come back, just think--you can help me do my canning. I know you're super-excited.

Cynthia said...

Wow! That's quite a week. And what's really funny is that a decade from now you won't remember all the hardest parts, you'll just laugh and have the 'remember the time we lived in Alabama?' conversation. At least, I HOPE you do!

(I buzzed over from MMB, I'm only a partially random stranger! LOL!)

Trevor and Liz said...

wow steph... alabama sounds... fun!(that is me being optimistic for you) Here's wishing you lots of super power, endurance and strength in the wife, mommy, superwoman dept (maybe an extra dab of patience and good humor too, those things seem to help in these situations)! Back to my happy life living la vida trailer! ;)

joyce said...

"Heat" and I don't see eye to eye on things. I'm SO sorry!! Good luck!

Melanie J said...

So....I sent your package of yesterday but then realized that I don't think I know your last name. And so then I was thinking I have three Stephanies that comment on your blog and then I thought you were Stephanie Humphrey. But you're not. Which is too bad because that's who I addressed it to. I guess if worse comes to worst, they'll just send it back to me and I'll send it again to your permanent address. Sigh. Sorry!

Marly said...

but there's a partition, remember? There could be some romance. Maybe there's a patio!