Friday, May 1, 2009
Sloth in a Tarpit- a personal experience
If you've ever thought to yourself, "Hey I wonder what running 18.64 miles would feel like?"
You can call me. If you want I will pretend that it was euphoric and horses ran wild through mountainous fields, my feet flew like pegasus, and other mythical ideas I like to pretend about running.
Honestly, I felt like a sloth in a tarpit. Even though there were horses running through fields and sheep bleeting plaintively, I can't say that it made me feel excited to run 8 more miles (7.56 miles to be exact). I am not exactly oozing confidence for this dumb marathon I'm supposed to run in 3 weeks. Oh wait, make that 2 weeks. Two. Weeks. I'm kind of hoping I contract Swine flu. No I am not. I am feverishly knocking on wood and taking that back.
Anyway here's a sampling of my thoughts throughout the Strider's Winter Racing Circuit 30K (18.64 miles). I ran it with, well for 11 miles at least, Cristina and Leah and they made it much more bearable. I finished in 2:42:29, to average 8:42 pace. I'm pretending that pace was actually 8:30 pace because all of those dumb water stops I made.
Mile 1: I feel good. I feel great. I feel wonderful. 6 miles times three. Not too bad. I can do it. Can I think of enough things to say for 18 miles? What if there's just an awkward running silence between Cristina and Leah and I? Maybe I'll tell a story about Blaisdell.
Mile 7: Alright. Alright. "Romeo something, something, never have to be alone. I said I love you and something." Sorry Leah. I really didn't mean to spit on you. I am so sorry. I will wash your tights. Good thing you are wearing tights because that would feel nasty on your bare leg. I am so sorry.
Mile 10: These shoes are toast. I really, really want new shoes. "Romeo, romeo." Stupid Taylor Swift. That is not a running song. My back hurts.
Mile 11: I think I will stop right here and stretch my aching back. Goodbye Leah. Goodbye Cristina. Your backs look nice in that blue jacket and pink shirt. I will catch you in 3 miles.
Mile 14: No I will not catch you. I will stop at every aid station and consume massive quantities of water, resulting in a bouncing stomach. 5Ks. I'm going back to 5Ks.
Mile 16: Does this never end? How can I get this stupid song out of my head? OH look there's Mike. Just pretend everything is alright. I'm glad Hannah loves me so much that she wails my name everytime I run by. Kenzie, your smile as I see you makes me so happy.
Mile 18: Okay the finish line is any time now, anytime now. "It's a love story and something, Romeo." Dang song. Curse this wrap-around finish. Curse it! But silently, not out loud like you did during the half marathon. Silently cursing.
Mile 18.64: Alright a free hat. Mmmm, donuts. Mmmm. More donuts. Mmmm just one more donut. No, Hannah I cannot hold you right now. I am a sloth in a tar pit.
Just for the record, if I make it through this marathon I am never, never running a marathon again.
Congrats to Cristina, who was second in our age group for the overall circuit. She's a true distance runner now. :)
at 10:45 PM