Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Tired

Situations That Allow A Person to Utter the Phrase, "I'm tired" in the Presence of a New Mother:

1. You have been mistakenly arrested as an Al Qaeda operative. They use sleep deprivation torture to try and get information from you.

2. You are a soldier in unfriendly territory. You have to go on watch every three hours to make sure enemy soldiers aren't infiltrating your camp. This lasts for three to six months.

3. You get lost in the desert on a hiking trip. Wolves are chasing you. If you fall asleep longer than two hours they will attack. You are lost for one month.

4. You are a hunting guide for rare animals. You take a man out hunting, he accidentally shoots another guy and then starts hunting you so you won't tell on him. He takes all your clothes, food and weapons. It takes one week to find your way to the city while hiding from him. When you get to the city, no one believes you, so they throw you in jail. (Read this book, it's facinating.)

5. You are a depression-era twelve-year-old who is forced to work 12 hour shifts in a factory so your eight orphaned brothers and sisters can eat.

6. You have a newborn infant.

That about covers it.
Situations that do NOT apply:

1. You do a triathlon.

2. You do an Ironman.

3. You stay up late.

4. You stay up all night at a slumber party, and then sleep until noon.

5. You wake up early.

9 comments:

Amber Chappell said...

Feeling a little sleep deprived huh? The answer is caffeine for breakfast. At least that's how I got through the first several months after my twins were born! I can't say it's a great plan for losing any baby weight you may have gained during pregnancy though. Dang!

Kristina P. said...

Duly noted.

Em Russ said...

Amen girl!! AMEN!

joyce said...

ha ha ha ha ha. Sheesh, that was funny. And SOOOOOOOOOOOO true.

Mike said...

How about "You run a triathlon AND mow the lawn?" Would that warrant one saying to a mother with a newborn infant that she has no idea how tired you are?

Amateur Steph said...

Nope. Sorry Mike. No can do.

Tobi said...

There is nothing quite like sleep deprivation that an infant can bring. Plus you are supposed to be enjoying all this newborn lovey dovey constant crying and diaper changing stuff. But all you feel like doing is falling into a pile of oblivion for the next 10 hours.

Summer Blackhurst said...

LOL

Nikki said...

When I was in my first trimester of this pregnancy I thought I was tired. And then I remembered what it will be like when I have a newborn. I pulled through.

She's adorable by the way. :)