Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Stormclouds, Broccoli and Black Holes

Mmm, who wants to eat the peaches on the left? Yeah, me neither. This my friends, is what happens to your peaches if you blanch them incorrectly. Bleck. Super bleck. And it's my own dang fault. I thought that perhaps if I ignored the step of putting peaches in ice water after blanching them, I would save some time. Well that was stupid. So if you ever read my post about canning, let's just pretend I never wrote anything about not putting them in icy water.
Having three children that are awake makes me feel like the mouse in "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie."
I wander around from task to task, never quite accomplishing anything. For instance:   While starting a load of laundry, I remember a few things I want to add to the load. I head upstairs. On my way up the stairs I pick up a piece of paper. It's a postcard saying they autorenewed my Runner's World subscription for way too much money. I start looking for the phone in the couch cushions. Kenzie asks me to read her a story. I do. I find the phone. I call Runner's World. While I am on the phone Hannah asks if she can have some of my lotion. "Sure." I say. I tell Runner's World I can't pay that much money. They give me a sweet counteroffer. Meanwhile Hannah has globs of lotion on every finger and toe. Of course Runner's World wants me to pay right then. I search for my purse. My purse search reminds me to write down that I need diapers. I read the credit card numbers while rubbing a defiant and angry Hannah vigorously. Call completed I try to remember what in the world I came up the stairs for. Oh yes, some more laundry to add to the load. I go into the girls room, I start looking for whites in their laundry. Wait a second this isn't dirty. I start pulling out things I want them to put away. This reminds me that I need to get the 6-9 month clothes down for Ellie. Speaking of Ellie, she is crying and needs to be fed. Now where was that pen? Oh wait, I need to start the washer. 

And it goes on and on.
Next, some letters.

I hate hate hate hate your new formula for Cascade detergent. Using Cascade to wash my dishes is like letting the food sit on them for a few days and then trying to lick them clean and putting them away. It doesn't work. My dishes look like this:

Bring back the phosphates! Which is worse for the environment--detergent with phosphates that works, or washing the dishes three times, trying first to clean the food off the dishes, then cleaning the streaky ugly mess your detergent leaves on my dishes, and then cleaning them again because it's been baked and caked on?

Please sell something that works. Like your old stuff. I loved it.

Dear Walmart--
Congratulations on effectively capturing the color of baby poo on your new diaper decorations. Other than that, love the new slimmer profile.


And now a gratuitous baby picture:


Em Russ said...

oh man. how do you seem to capture everything I am thinking but so much more eloquently (and seriously way more humorously) than I ever could. The if you give a mouse a cookie analogy is totally perfect. I hate those books, and now I know why!! :)

Amber Chappell said...

I was thinking the same thing (about the mouse books) just the other day! Also, you really should send out those letters. Maybe we should get a letter writing campaign going to Cascade and they'll change back.

joyce said...

Hey Stephanie,
First of all, your baby is stinkin' cute! Second of all, Holly is also currently dealing with the dilemma of a phosphate free world. Someone told her her to buy Lemmy Shine and said it works really well. Just make sure to follow directions before using. Unfortunately, it's kind of expensive... I think she said it's over $4, and because you need to use it every time ... well, you know. Anyway, thought you'd want to know.

Michelle said...

I like you. :) I am also a fan of Lemishine. You can get it for 3.34 at Walmart and you only have to use like a teaspoon every time you wash your dishes. I'm a believer.

Alisha said...

That is so how my life is...except that it'll take me hours before I ever remember "why I went upstairs". It's bad. :)
I loved your letters, the walmart one made me laugh.

Tobi said...

How did you do that? You've described perfectly my week so far. Except the diapers. =)

Tori said...

Cute, cute baby! Love your "...give a mouse a cookie" book comparison. I'm a bit nervous though, because I feel that way now, and I only have one child! Aaaaah! By the time we have three, you'll have to post your expert mom tips on your blog for us. I love reading your stuff!

Kristen and Gang said...

I actually asked for a crazy pill when I had my third. I though it was some post-partum ADD problem. I was told that there was nothing wrong with my brain, that I was just taking care of too many people.

Marcie said...

Wow this post sounds very familiar. I will never read if you give a mouse a cookie again with out thinking of you. Also our dishes look like crap too.