Thursday, November 10, 2011

A Brief Angry History of Daylight Saving Time

George Vernon Hudson, a man too busy collecting insects to think about how Daylight Saving Time might possibly cause a four-year-old to scream in a high-pitched voice for fifteen minutes at 8:00 p.m. four days into the fall time change that she wants "TO BE HOME RIGHT NOW!" while driving in the car, when her mother has been working so very carefully with her and gained some solid ground on not throwing fits, proposed shifting an hour of daylight to the evening in the summer so he could COLLECT BUGS.

William Willet, a British man who had never dragged a sobbing, hysterical six-year-old out to the car in his bare feet on a cold winter morning to go to school, and had never bodily carried a four-year-old, kicking and screaming to her carpool and shoved her inside and said, "Watch out! The door's shutting," as she tried to cling to him, because they are sleeping an hour less than normal, also proposed DST in Britain so he could GOLF LONGER.

Foolishly, most of the U.S., under the delusion that they are saving energy, money or anything at all, agrees to this mass conspiracy against parents and their children and continues to change their clocks like lemmings falling off cliffs each spring and fall.
The End

5 comments:

Tobi said...

Sadly this is all too true. Perhaps the most annoying in our own household is our cat. Who is cute but doesn't realize that 4 am is not the time to wake up the food distributors. We've resorted to locking him into the basement at night.

Michelle said...

Seriously. Bryn's new wakeup time is 5 a.m. These guys had better be glad they're dead (they are dead, right?). Let's all move to Arizona.

Em Russ said...

I remember a little film strip (yes, a FILM STRIP) that we watched in Elementary school about how a bill becomes a law... I have never wanted to put that knowledge into action and make a law that Daylight Savings Sucks. Bad. We should repeal it.

Rachel Kirkaldie said...

I'm so glad I live in Arizona. :)

Sherrie said...

My entire family lives on AZ, but the real reason we'd love to move back is in it's brilliant idea of setting our clocks only when the batteries need changing. BRILLIANT!