Friday, February 26, 2010

Comforting Things Medical Professionals Say

(As heard by me)

  • "I've never seen anything like this before."
  • "Ohh! That is bad! You are so swollen!"
  • "Most people recover in 4-6 weeks. I'm not sure why you're not getting better."
  • "Well that's strange. Your foot isn't supposed to do that."
  • "Well, if it doesn't go away after the pregnancy I'll have to send you to a specialist." 
My favorite medical quote that Mike and I frequently laugh about is, "The good news is you're going to have a disease named after you."   While I haven't had a disease named after me yet, this pregnancy my veins are getting so large I'm naming them after major roadways. I've already got Route 66 (it's full of kicks), The DC Beltway (major congestion here), and a charming little one I like to call Broadway (if nothing, it's entertaining).

Insert bad-a-bing drum here. 

The pregnancy fairy has taken everything I've felt self-pride in and wiped it away with a swipe of her magic wand. Ability to hold it? Gone. Nice legs? Mapped with veins now.Chest that stayed in place? Nope. Lost that too.

Each pregnancy has gifted me with a new particular medical problem that I thought only happened to old people.  Oh, well I guess I am old now. I'm 31!

It was a marvelous birthday, thanks for asking.
 Insert cheesy fairytale music here

Mike took the day off and he and the girls made me the sweetest card, brought me balloons and flowers and I got a new coat! A coat that doesn't require zipping and unzipping a liner into. A coat that isn't bulky, but is warm and makes me feel like an outdoorsy chick. I lurv it. Thanks Mike! As much as I love my new coat, the fact that Mike took the day off was the best part of my birthday.
cheesy music leads to a huge crescendo, culminating with a large, yet romantic cymbal crash as the last paragraph ends.

Now for some pictures

Here is how I look at 31. Notice how the part of my body that is growing large is conveniently blacked out by a thumb over the flash. Good work Mike!

The flowers and balloons.

Out to dinner at Applebees. That Chinese Chicken Salad is my favorite. 

Opening the new coat at my mom's. She watched the girls for us while we went out. My parents gave me some new maternity clothes. I love getting new maternity clothes. Especially ones that cover my belly.  My in-laws gave me a gift card to Olive Garden. I get to go out wearing new clothes! Hooray!

The day ended with this ice cream pie, made by my mom. Fudge, whip cream, ice cream and Oreos are involved. How could any birthday that ends with this not be perfect? This ice cream pie makes getting older worth it. 


charbetrichey said...

Man oh man are you spoiled! I keep getting older with NO ice cream cake. Oh well, it's better than the alternative. :-) Your body will get better or you will just get used to it and think it got better. Loves!

Amber Chappell said...

Happy Birthday Steph! I'm glad you had a good one. As for the pregnancy, don't worry you will look great afterwards, I'm sure. Believe me it could be worse. I used to be so vain about my figure but my twins have completely humbled me!

I love that you have named your veins! I wish I had your creativity!

Mike said...

Whatever! You are still the sexxiest thing on this planet. Your legs and your uh, hmh, chest have never been better. That was a fun birthday. I love you, happy 31st!

Sarah loves it all said...

I seriously love how you insert music and sound effects. I could totally hear it. Also, I enjoyed many interesting and offensive comments when I was pregnant. Not from the Dr so much as the public. I did a post about it :)