Wednesday, July 23, 2008

True Confessions of a Home Party Addict

Really I hate the things, but I can't stop going, or offering to have one, or buying things at them. Tupperware, Mary Kay, Tastefully Simple, Scentsy, Usborne books, etc.

I hosted a Tupperware party last night, and I had to tell myself (and Mike) beforehand that I would not be lured by the siren call of, "You too can make millions from home and earn 50% off our product if you buy a whole bunch of it and have parties." I am a died-in-the-wool sucker. Here's my personal story of seduction:

It was a dark and stormy night. Stephanie had lots of zits and her tall white bottle of Mary Kay face wash was empty (gasp!) and she had resorted to using Suave lotion as a facial moisturizer (oh! The horror!). Previously her MK face wash had been supplied by a shadowy figure called, "Mom," who required favors in return, not moolah.

She was alone in the big city of Salt Lake, a destitute newlywed, and 'Mom' was faraway. Stephanie didn't know where to turn. She started to sob silently as she popped another zit. No supplier, no money. How could she feed her addiction? How could she face Mike with an unmoisturized, zitful face?
She stopped popping zits and turned to Google. She found a Mary Kay website, and money be danged, she was going to have her face wash. She called the number she found; a soft alluring voice answered. It promised face wash and moisturizer, but the price was high.
Stephanie wondered aloud if there was a way to get a discount-- There was, said the voice, "Just come with me to my unit meeting."
And so it was, Stephanie was lured by promises of fame and fortune, and a 50% discount. (Enter evil music: duhn-duhn-duhn.) Let's not forget the "Stay-at-home" mom appeal. Stephanie was expecting her first little one. Selling Mary Kaye would be the perfect way to earn extra money and still be there for her children. (Swoon!) She signed the contract, spent too much money on inventory, and then, and then, and then: She realized she didn't really like make-up. Now our destitute heroine makes one order a year, mostly from her mom and sisters and wishes she had got involved in blackmarket handguns, or Tupperware.

Why I Hate Home Parties:
1. First you have to invite people. There's the whole dilemma of "Do they want to be invited to this? I don't want them to feel obligated." or "This is an infomercial, not a party, they probably don't want to be invited. But if I don't invite them will they think I hate them?" or "I love________ (fill-in-the-blank), doesn't everyone want some too?" On the other hand, if you've been invited to one, if you don't go will their feelings be hurt? The whole problem is, it's an infomercial under the guise of "Party." People start avoiding me when I send out invites to these parties. (Which I don't do that often, despite my addictions I swear.)
2. Then you have to feel sorry for the person selling it, unless they're one of those .05% that have actually succeeded at their home business-- and they drive a company provided car, have built a mansion, own two yachts, travel the world, and they and their husband have retired on the money she makes. Then you have to be wary of them sucking you into the scheme.
3. I am one of those people who if I go to a home selling party I have to buy something. I feel like I'm not a real friend if I don't. I'm not helping the host get their "La-ti-da HUGE host prize when guests order $1,000 or more in product." And I feel bad if I don't go. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Don't get me wrong, I actually love most of the things that I buy. I just hate the whole guilt thing that's associated with the home party business. Plus I failed at my Mary Kaye business, so I'm bitter. :)

So anyway, if any of you have been guilted, I mean inspired, by this post into buying some Tupperware to help me reach my goal of obtaining a Potato Storage Container, here's the Tupperware Website. I also make one order of Mary Kay a year, and YOU TOO CAN GET 40% OFF (if I could figure out how to make that text blink and have a popup of a cheesy car salesman come up, I surely would) if you order from me, your defunct and non-make-up wearing Mary Kay consultant.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who has bought into this home party business. What do you sell?


ClingerFamily said...

You totally nailed your analysis of these types of parties. I have had all of those feelings about parties myself. And good luck on obtaining the potato storage bin or whatever it is. :)

Pineapple Princess said...

Thanks for stopping by! It is fun to meet new people this way. Holly is a cutie.

You described my feelings so well. I kinda got burned out on these parties when I was young because my parents tried ALL of them including the ear candles, magnetic beds and the laundry balls.

I usually always go if I am invited and even if I don't buy stuff I always have fun chatting with the ladies or getting new ideas to use myself.

Dustin and Alisha said...

You are selling Tupperware now? That makes me laugh :) I guess when I get some money I can purchase things from you, give me a few years, haha!
I love the dramatized story, by the way.

Stephanie and Co. said...

No, I am not selling tupperware now, just hosting parties.
It's true P.P. The home parties are a good excuse to get together and chat.

Heidi said...

You are HILARIOUS!!! Still laughing!!! I agree.....!

kristi lou said...

Are you kidding? It's EL CHEAPO here. I can honestly say I have never bought into the home party thing--because I'M SO CHEAP. But, if you invited me to your party, I would come, but only for the free food and great company. I wouldn't buy anything because I AM EXTREMELY CHEAP. See, it could be worse.