Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Having Fun the Hannah Way (points too)

For those of you who just don't know what fun is (mom!) I thought I, Hannah, would write a little manual to show everyone how to have fun during a normal, boring day.
1. First, trick your mom into thinking you are potty training. When you want some attention, tell her you have to go potty. When she puts you on the potty, ask incessantly for a "peepee towel" to wipe with, even though you have no intention of going potty in the potty. Duh, that's what diapers are for. When your mom won't give you a "peepee towel" reach for the toilet paper and grab as much possible before mom finally takes the roll off of the holder and sets it on the counter, which ingeniously leads to your next step for fun.
2. When mom is busy take the roll of toilet paper and drop it in the toilet. Splash around some. Toilet water is great for the complexion.
3. Fun can be had twice during the day with this routine. Vary your evening toilet routine by making sure mom is in the middle of her dinner. Demand that you need to go potty. When your sister asks your mom, "Please mom, don't go with Hannah. Stay here with me to eat," insist that you really must "Go potty! Go potty!" that instant. As your mom follows you out of the room, stare back at your sister triumphantly. Repeat steps 1 and 2.
4. While mom is brushing your sibling's teeth and steps out to answer the phone, in the matter of 5 seconds flat manage to grab the tub of vaseline and (don't eat it, it tastes yucky, trust me), smear gobs of it on your face. Scream angrily when mom wipes it off.
5. During meals instead of eating, grab your napkin, stick it in your mouth and yell, "Me crazy! Me crazy!" while shaking your head back and forth and thwarting mom's attempts to take the napkin.
6. When your sister coughs with a mouth full of Kool aid, all over mom and her dinner, mimic the act, fakely spitting KoolAid into your meal and onto your mom.
7. While mom is changing your diaper, grab indiscriminately down there. Clench your fists and scream as your mom tries to wash your hands afterwards.
8. If mom is frowning grumpily while she changes your diaper, squinch your eyes shut and move your jaw up and down, making whispering noises. You know you're cute.
9. Resist everything.
10. If mom is not paying enough attention to you (almost always), say in your most pitiful, whiny voice, over and over, "mama, mom, mama, mom, mama."
11. Scoot your chair over to the countertop and stand on it. Reach around blindly. You'll be sure to find something fun to play with like medication or scissors.

There. I'm sure there's more ways to have fun, like running into the street or eating cigarette butts off the ground, but I haven't discovered them yet. I'll let you know when I do.
Love, Hannah

P.S. Post your points here. Mike is being perfect. I am being sick and unmotivated. We got 25. Remember tomorrow (Wednesday) begins the bonus points week. No dessert/treats equals an extra point that day! Good luck.


ROBYN -N- KEVIN said...

Do I even WANT to post points? We are such losers. But peer pressure by Team Awesomeness makes us... we had 21 this week. I think that might be our best ever... EVER!

Trevor and Liz Covington said...

24 for us... moving and trying to exercise eat right just isn't going as smoothly as planned!

Alisha said...

Hannah, you are a turd!
I don't know why I bother posting points... oh well, we got 16.
You could still come visit me!

Lisa Kearl said...

Thanks for the laughs. Sounds like you got your hands full with that one. When is the next one coming?!?

Marcie said...

That was a great reminder for me about the terriable 2's. I'm just months away from them agin, and I am dreading it. She is hillarious, and that does sound like alot of FUN.

Matt and Cris P. said...

I think Hannah is really starting to look like Kenzie. I am sure all of this has happened over the past week and a half too. Well, we had our worse week ever. We caved for binging on cookies twice. We were just getting pumped for bonus week. 24 points for us.

Mike said...

Little Hannah. It's hard to image her being so bad by looking at those adorable pictures. I'm sorry she's been such a pill. She isn't that bad around me...JK. We love you Hannah!

kristi lou said...

oh man! this is embarrassing, i think we got 8 this week ! WAHOOO! But we have an excellent excuse--of course ;). no really...

Loralee and the gang... said...

It's the cute ones that cause all the chaos! Good thing they're so cute!

Pebley Family said...

We had a free day this week..26 points for us.

Pebley Family said...

In the Deseret News today (Thursday) there was a picture of you during your race. The race sounded like so much fun-in a cold way.

Amber said...

Your Hannah? She learned a few tricks of the trade from my Hadley. Let's hope Hannah trains earlier than Hadley!

Kristyn said...

Now are you talking about Mialee or Hannah cuz that sounds an awful lot like Mialee?