Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Warp Speed Ahead
A few months ago, I gave some advice on how to slow time down, to make it seem like you are a sloth in a river of tar. Now I would like to offer some advice on how to make it seem like you are a cheetah in a flash flood:
Sign up for a marathon. I honestly know of no other way to make time fly--except if you're in college and you have a big paper due along with really large, comprehensive tests. But it's been a long time since I've had that, so now my method is to sign up for a marathon.
January disappeared in a cloud of anxiety over my knee and whether I would be able to run at all. February got lost somewhere in the fact that I was only running 1/3 of what my training schedule said I needed to be running. March was misplaced by a bad cold and April? Well April went frolicking away in a rash of crappy weather and a strained quad.
Now I am 3.5 weeks away from running 26.2 miles and time is flying. I have to do something crazy to give myself some sort of mental edge, because I certainly won't have a physical edge--more like a physical flab.
I've considered shaving my head, but I don't want to emphasize my good looks too much--it might be distracting for all the other runners to see my face in all its glory--unframed by hair. So I can't do that.
I think what I will do is employ another time-slowing strategy to make it seem like the marathon is forever away, that I still have plenty of time to train, that I will be ready, that 26.2 miles is not that bad--I will give up chocolate. Time-slowing factor on a scale of 1-10: 10. Torture-factor-to-make-marathon-appear-less-daunting: 10. Motivation-to-reach-finish-line-and-eat-chocolate-creamy: 10.
Okay, here I go. Wish me luck!
at 2:31 PM