Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Warp Speed Ahead

A few months ago, I gave some advice on how to slow time down, to make it seem like you are a sloth in a river of tar. Now I would like to offer some advice on how to make it seem like you are a cheetah in a flash flood:

Sign up for a marathon. I honestly know of no other way to make time fly--except if you're in college and you have a big paper due along with really large, comprehensive tests. But it's been a long time since I've had that, so now my method is to sign up for a marathon.

January disappeared in a cloud of anxiety over my knee and whether I would be able to run at all. February got lost somewhere in the fact that I was only running 1/3 of what my training schedule said I needed to be running. March was misplaced by a bad cold and April? Well April went frolicking away in a rash of crappy weather and a strained quad.

Now I am 3.5 weeks away from running 26.2 miles and time is flying. I have to do something crazy to give myself some sort of mental edge, because I certainly won't have a physical edge--more like a physical flab.

I've considered shaving my head, but I don't want to emphasize my good looks too much--it might be distracting for all the other runners to see my face in all its glory--unframed by hair. So I can't do that.

I think what I will do is employ another time-slowing strategy to make it seem like the marathon is forever away, that I still have plenty of time to train, that I will be ready, that 26.2 miles is not that bad--I will give up chocolate. Time-slowing factor on a scale of 1-10: 10. Torture-factor-to-make-marathon-appear-less-daunting: 10. Motivation-to-reach-finish-line-and-eat-chocolate-creamy: 10.

Okay, here I go. Wish me luck!


Debbi said...

good luck with that, I am so lazy and will sit and cheer you on from the side. I wish I had the energy to run like everyone I know, good luck!

Lisa Kearl said...

Are you crazy, you're going to run a full marathon! You're freakin amazing. Good luck with the training and making time slow down:)

Marcie said...

Good luck! And I really think you could pull the bauld thing off.

Shauna said...

Good Luck! Hope you have a blessed and beautiful weekend!
♥ HUGS ♥

Czechers said...

I always thought "wow a marathon." Now that I've run a half marathon, I can't imagine doing that again, but you're amazing and from what I hear, St. George is mostly downhill. . . and chocolate is good motivation. :)

Amber said...

Seriously, GOOD LUCK! Though I must say a marathon is not for everyone. I used to run competitively and the competitive nature stripped me of my love for running. I went back to it several years later and now love it just for the sake of running. The thought of entering a race just no longer appeals!