Friday, November 13, 2009

Yes, this is an announcment

Let this be a lesson to you. Never promise yourself that you will be happy with your weight at some point in the future. Because then you will get pregnant and gain weight copiously. Or maybe that's what you should do. Anyway. . .

In honor of this 3-month along growing little peanut, which we are very excited for, I thought I would do a random blog post on "things" about pregnancy.

"Things I love about Pregnancy"
1. A baby comes at the end (and generally speaking about three months after they are born and we are starting to sleep a little this makes me very happy)
2. I actually have a cup size for a little bit.
And that about sums it up. Being pregnant is not my favorite thing in the world, but I am grateful and I will not write a list of things I hate about pregnancy. Because it's good. Pregnancy is good.

"Things that help me during Pregnancy"
1. Those dorky donut cushions for your butt
2. A bra extender. (Haven't heard of it? You need one. Here's a picture with lots of white space.) 3. Vitamins because if I thought vegetables were disgusting before, during pregnancy they are despicable. Horrid. Trash-can smelling. Vile. Gag-reflex inducing.

"Things people lie about when you are pregnant"
1. How pregnant you really look
2. That special glow (You mean all the extra zits and rashes that break out across my body? Yes, those do give off a certain glow.)
3. That the delivery is the hard part.
4. Your due date (those lying doctors.)
5. "morning" sickness
6. Your pre-pregnancy size will be the size of your maternity clothes. (Multiply your pre-pregnancy size by 3 and that's my m-clothes size, thanks. And at the end, just buy bolts of material and wrap me in them because it still won't cover my belly)

"Things I feel while pregnant"
1. GIVE ME SOME FOOD NOW! Does anyone else find it highly ironic that at the moment everything becomes nauseous your body starts demanding food all of the time? "Okay, okay," I tell it, "but what should I eat that I won't barf up all over again? So far not bananas. Not raisin bran. Not vegetables. Bread. Lots and lots of bread at 11 p.m. at 5:00 a.m. Whenever.
2. DON'T TOUCH ME
3. WHERE IS THE TOILET?
4. WHY IS MY BODY FALLING APART?
5. I WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER BABY AGAIN

As you can see I am highly pleasant to be around. Please send your condolences to Mike. Or maybe send him some curses because lately he has said, "Are you sure this isn't all in your head? You've just read a lot of books about being sick and now. . ." Blah, blah blah.

I said, "Excuse me?" And stood up so I could kick him in the groin. Because I'm pretty sure that's all in his head. He's just seen a lot of males grimace in pain when they are kicked there, so he thinks it will hurt. It's all in his head.

Well, that's about it for now. I'm due May 28th and I won't be putting up one one of those cute little sidebar countdowns. It will drive me nuts. My fondest dream in the world is to wake up one day with stomach cramps and wonder what they are and then go to the hospital and wow! Suddenly there's a baby, so since that dream has already been foiled, I will do the next best thing: not keep track of exact days. And when I'm not feeling like a wet-behind-the-ears sailor I'll pretend I'm not pregnant. :)

20 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Congrats, Stephanie! It seems like everyone in blog land is pregnant right now.

The Girardo Family said...

Congrats to you Steph!!!! I think?!:) I am not too into being pregnant, too. I love food and when I am pregnant I hate it, and I don't like that feeling. Well hang in there!!! And if you need anything give me a call. Congrats again!!!!

Kim said...

"And at the end, just buy bolts of material and wrap me in them because it still won't cover my belly)"

HAHAHAHAHA That was great. I totally appreciated that. You are awesome. :)

Congrats and here's to feeling better soon!!!

Kristyn said...

Congrats! I have been waiting for this post. :0) I had my suspicions about you.......Good luck with everything!

Em Russ said...

Congrats! (And I didn't do a sidebar countdown with my last one either. All it can do is torture you!!)

The King Family said...

YAY!!! Congratulations. Mark thinks that morning sickness is all in my head, too. "How can you be fine one day and the next day find out your pregnant and be sick?" I actually agree a little bit. Send the girls over if you need a break. We've missed them.

Rachel Sue said...

Congrats! Oh, you sound so like me when I am pregnant! Except for with me, about the last 6 weeks of pregnancy if anyone talks to me about anything related to my pregnancy, (who am I kiddding, about anything at all!) I bite their head off. And I wonder why my husband doesn't want any more kids. . .

Amber Chappell said...

Congratulations! When you are feeling super huge just let me know and I'll send you a picture of me in full bloom with my twins and then you will feel really cute and small! Also, I agree that pregnancy is the pits but babies are definitely worth it! Hang in there!

Hollie said...

Congratulations. I think you're really funny, especially when you're pregnant.

charbetrichey said...

WEll, not to be gross or anything, you could barf on Mikey and tell him it is probably all in his head. Men need to be prego at least one time.

You have the cutest babies!

joyce said...

Congratulations, Stephanie! You're a great mom... good luck with the pregnancy. My wish for you is a nice, calm little boy. Hmmmm, mine never were, but you can always hope, right?

Kandice said...

so excited for you! and btw you are hilarious!

Trevor and Liz Covington said...

congrats and hang in there.. i hated this pregnancy but am totally enjoying the fact that its over eventhough I still look pregnant!! And I can't believe I didn' know about the bra extender, instead I have a collection of bras for all the different "seasons" of my body!!

Melanie J said...

Well, despite all the icky parts, congratulations!!!

Marcie said...

Congrats guys. Maybe you'll get a Boy this time. Man I wish I would have know about the Bra extender 2 weeks ago!

Marly said...

Congrats to all the "fun" things about pregnancy!

Stacie Marietti said...

This post made me laugh so hard. Congratulations on the pregnancy!!!

Leah said...

Congratulations!! It will be all worth it, right? I love reading your blog, you are awesome at writing! Good luck with everything!

The Spencer Family said...

Congrats Steph....I am the opposite of everyone, I love being pregnant. It was little tougher with Preston, but I seriously love it! Good luck and I hope all that pukey-yucky garb it gone soon :)

Lisa Kearl said...

Congrats Steph! I was wondering when you might make such an anouncement. Mike totally reminds me of Abe, it drives me crazy when he thinks "it's all in your head."
Hope you get feeling better soon.