Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Handy Excuses for the Exercise-Averse

It's taken me awhile, but I've sunk to new exercise lows. I have managed to pretend that sleep is the most important aspect of being healthy for 3 weeks now. I need some motivation. I tried to motivate myself by setting up the tripod and taking a picture of my flabby belly, but no that didn't motivate me. In fact it made me think, "Gosh, it's not as bad as I thought," although my increasingly small pants say otherwise. So that's my first excuse. Here are some others I use:

"My butt hurts. I can't bike."
"My Dr. said not to run until January." (This is true. He might have said something about diversifying and doing yoga, but I forget.)
"It's too much work to go swimming."
"I like wearing a size larger pants."
"My metabolism is a gift. I should abuse it while I can."
"If I wake up early I'll be ornery. This won't be much different than normal, but I'll yawn more."
"I'm tired."
"What's the use?"
"I'm a lazy slob."
"Shouldn't I be reading my scriptures instead of out doing something in a tank top?"
"What if my already small chest disappears completely?"
"I can't shower twice in one day. It's environmentally unfriendly."
"I'm busy. Busy eating this bowl of ice cream."
"I'm busy. Busy eating this 5-layer brownie."
"I'm busy. Busy eating this smore."
"I'm busy. Busy filling my body with cancer-causing hydrogenated oils."
"It'll be awesome if I'm so fat I can pretend I'm not pregnant until 'Surprise!' there's a baby." (This is not an announcement)

Okay. Those are sorry excuses! I'm going to wake up tomorrow and go swimming. I'm going to. I promise. Call me.

1 comment:

Matt and Cris P. said...

Here is a good one for you...It's too dark at 5am. I might get kidnapped. It is my favorite lately.