Thursday, August 6, 2009

Tips for Potty Training

1. Make sure to practice de-clothing your child. Quickly, with one hand, in the dark, while still trying to open your eyes from being asleep.
2. Buy a little potty so your child can stuff their toys in it and so that other children that visit your home can leave surprises for you.
3. Practice your sprinting ability, with a 30 pound container of lemon juice in your arms.
4. Sometimes, let the lemon juice leak on you and practice trying not to be ashamed in public of how dirty your clothes are.
5. Think of some really good threats like, "If you don't go potty right now, I'm going to never let you play with your toys again."
6. Buy some suppositories and prune juice, just in case your child is so afraid of going #2 on the potty that she/he holds it in for three days and then complains of a stomach ache.
7. Install another bathroom in your home.
8. Buy a 100-pack of diapers. They'll be sure to start potty training the day after you open them.
9. Fix dinner. Stand up right before you take a bite and run to the bathroom. Wait there until your food gets cold. Go back to eat. Cut a bite. Stand up and run to the bathroom again. Repeat.
10. Try not to be so squeamish about germs. Maybe carry sanitary wipes with you. Practice saying, "Don't touch that! Don't touch that! Do not lay on the floor! No! Don't touch that. That is so yucky! If you touch that you will get germs and die."

Hannah is almost potty trained. We have finally gotten past her extreme fear of pooping and made it two whole days (and nights) without an accident. Thanks to my mom for the motivating special sucker and thanks to chapstick and one special experience with a suppository we might be a diaper-free family! (Although I still have about 95 diapers in a size 4. Anyone interested?)


Rachel Sue said...

I remember those days. I have to go through it all again in the next 6 months.

Not something I am looking forward to. . .

And if your serious about giving away those size 4 diapers, let me know.

Hollie said...

Very funny Stephanie. I almost had an accident while reading this, and then what kind of example would I be?

Kristyn said...

hehe! I love it! I am so with you. Mialee is doing great with potty-training, but every little accident (especially number 2) reminds me how much I hate potty training. I have about 95 size 5s and an 8 pack of crappy wipes!

Anonymous said...

Better hang on to those diapers for a little while. Relapes often happen. Sorry about that news.

Dreamer said...

Oh, so, so true. I have 3 out of diapers, 1 to go. We have at least a year until he can even think about being potty trained. When that time starts getting closer I get knots in my tummy just thinking about it! Good luck!
P.S. If you still want to unload those size 4's I'd happily come and take them off your hands!

lizzzz said...

wow I am so behind on blogs! hannah is potty trained, awesome! if the diapers were size 6 i would take your offer! Bennett has had waxing and waning interest and we are currently in a waning phase, it might be related to the fact that I totally went berserk when he didn't scoot close enough to the pee pee cup and peed all over me and the floor! I really need to get a plan of action and reaction established before we try this again!